You can't special order awesome
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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