haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
