I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
