I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Randomize
