BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize