I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
