ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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