But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
