We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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