I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
