i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
