let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
