I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize