What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
