so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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