Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
