Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So vagazzling was a success
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
