Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
