hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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