Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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