Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm passing your future prison.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
