So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
