you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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