I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
