Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
