Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
