i barfeds in our rink
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
