No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
