4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
