Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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