I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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