I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
