OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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