I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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