I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
