I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My vagina is officially offended.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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