It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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