Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
We are two peas in an std pod
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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