dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
