Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
