it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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