Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
