mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he thought i was a dude.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
