apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
