So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
