I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
