He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Randomize
