whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
