God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
