He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize