Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize