I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize