This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
