Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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