You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i dont even know how to be here
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
