His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
