the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
