i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
